I have pursued being cleansed from bitterness since I learned it’s a poison by which many are defiled (Acts 8:23, Hebrews 12:15b.)

But, despite my efforts, there was one particular person I couldn’t seem to release from my sharp feelings of resentment. It was as though I carried a sentence of their guilt always in my heart, unwilling to release them from my expectations that they should have known and done better.

These words of Jesus powerfully shined light on that harbored bitterness: “If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained.” (John 20:23)

First, let me make it clear: A person’s right standing before God and merit for forgiveness comes only through their faith in the blood of Christ.

But for the exercise of removing bitterness, let’s just imagine, for a moment, the possibility of someone’s ability to receive God’s forgiveness depending, even slightly, on the extent to which we are willing to give them our forgiveness.

With this in mind, I pictured that person being judged before God’s throne, and the Lord looking at my heart as a gauge of their guilt. I allowed the Spirit to slowly walk me through each memory of their wrongs; and I imagined myself, one by one, releasing them from my grip. For each record I held onto, I prayed for the Lord to forgive them as I too was willing to forgive them.

I could feel the bitterness yield as their sentence, in my heart, turned from guilty to forgiven.

Christ modeled forgiveness for us when He prayed the Lord would forgive those who were actively crucifying Him (Luke 23:34). He didn’t wait for them to acknowledge their wrong, show remorse, or apologize before He prayed, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do.”

I want to be as quick to humbly give grace, ensuring I don’t allow any poison of bitterness to defile this vessel cleansed by God.

Ultimately, forgiveness is for ourselves. That person never knew the pain I harbored, nor did they know I released them from blame. But something inside of me changed as I allowed the Lord to pluck out the bitter root.