These are the vows I wrote to my husband in 2011. Now, looking back on our first 10 years of marriage, I am painfully aware on how I have fallen short of these vows. Even in our best of efforts, we fall short; but through the power of the Holy Spirit we press in.

My vows:

I vow to continually remind myself that God is the Creator of marriage. It is a gift from the Lord Himself to be nurtured, cherished, and protected. I want to treasure each and every day I am blessed to spend as your wife, remembering that life is but a vapor. On petty issues that will undoubtedly creep in, I want to ask myself, “Will this matter in eternity?” With that eternal perspective, I want to remove my focus from the negative and fix it on the positive. I want to assume the best. Not expecting perfection, but remembering you are God’s workmanship created by and for Him.

I vow to see the magnitude of my calling and role as your God-given helper. I was created for you as said in 1 Corinthians 9:11. When I choose my words, actions, and timing, I want to ask, “What is best for him?” Apart from growing in my relationship with the Lord, my purpose in life will be to help you fulfill God’s calling on your life. I want to fit into your ways. I want to live in a way that brings you good and not harm all the days of your life. I want to continue to grow closer to God’s design for my life by seeking out godly influences, biblical wisdom, help from the Lord, and the proper perspective.

I vow to submit myself under your God-ordained role of headship. I vow to honor you as head and submit to you as unto the Lord in everything. You will be the leader of our household and family. You will make the final decisions and I aim to follow your leadership with joy. I want to be understanding of the challenging duty the Lord has called you to. I vow to pray for your strength and wisdom as you lead, and I will not hold you responsible for a decision that did not go as expected. I want my submissive disposition towards you to reflect that of The Church for Christ.

I vow to be respectful towards you with my choices, tone of voice, body language, words, and actions. My desire will be to have a reverent heart for you, my husband. I want to admire you, love you, defer to you, praise you, encourage you, regard you, honor you, esteem you, and notice you.

I vow to prayerfully seek to honor you with my tongue, both when I speak to you and about you to others. I do not want to tear you down, but only to build you up. I want you and others to see my respect for you. I want to be your cheerleader.

I vow to make you my number one human priority. Nothing and no one, outside of my relationship with the Lord, should come before my ministry to you. My goal and purpose in life becomes honoring God through honoring you. I will be your helper, your crown, and your gift from the Lord.

I vow to cultivate a heart that cherishes you, remembering you are the Lord’s child that I am to steward in such a way that pushes you closer to Him. I want to daily ask God what it is that I can do this day to serve and to love you. By marrying you, I am becoming one with you. Your needs and desires become as important to me as if they were my own.